The Laws of Booty Gravity

‎Today is the day my arse has gone panoramic. 

I have put on so much weight those last 2 weeks that whilst walking, I can actually feel‎ the delayed motion of the left arse cheek gravitating back towards the ground, as the right arse cheek attempts to make a glorious escape from its denim prison.

Note to Self: Must go back to the gym next week or I will be the prime suspect for the ginormous craters suspiciously popping in Siberia right now.

Oopsie.