Last week, I have managed to get to the end of my own personal epic professional trilogy : Bored of The Bollockings.
Yes, I finally jumped shark from a role I have hated for years (Corporate Punching Ball).
And I splashed straight into the job pool, swan diving right into the role I have always wanted (Corporate Ninja).
I would like to dedicate this song to the top dog of all corporate mofos I have had the misfortune to meet: Mr Fraud On Da Road.
At first I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without chips as a side
But then I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
thinking how you did me wrong
And I smoked a bong
And I learned how to get along
and so you're back
from the twat race
I just walked in to find you here
with that Mossad look upon your face
I should have told them you were a cock
And I learned how to get along
and so you're back
from the twat race
I just walked in to find you here
with that Mossad look upon your face
I should have told them you were a cock
I should have made you smoke your goatee
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me
Go on now go go do your chores
just churn around now
'cause you're the big bitch on the office floor
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with porkie pies
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me
Go on now go go do your chores
just churn around now
'cause you're the big bitch on the office floor
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with porkie pies
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and get high
Oh no, not I
I will swan dive
Did you think I'd lay down and get high
Oh no, not I
I will swan dive
Oh as long as I know how to shove
I know I will stay alive
I've got a bread knife to receive
I've got boxing gloves to outlive
and I'll swan dive
I've got a bread knife to receive
I've got boxing gloves to outlive
and I'll swan dive
I will swan dive (hey-hey)
It took all the strength I had
not to maul you apart
It took all the strength I had
not to maul you apart
kept trying hard to bend
the pieces of my shitty notepad
and I spent oh so many nights
just being boozy checking out elves
I used hairdye
And now I hold my head up high
and you see me
with flashy hues
I'm not that chained up little person
still working with you
and so you felt like dropping shit
and just expect me to be smiley
and now I'm saving all my binge drinking
for a pub with buy one get one free
Go on now go go do your chores
just churn around now
'cause you're the big bitch on the office floor
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with porkie pies
the pieces of my shitty notepad
and I spent oh so many nights
just being boozy checking out elves
I used hairdye
And now I hold my head up high
and you see me
with flashy hues
I'm not that chained up little person
still working with you
and so you felt like dropping shit
and just expect me to be smiley
and now I'm saving all my binge drinking
for a pub with buy one get one free
Go on now go go do your chores
just churn around now
'cause you're the big bitch on the office floor
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with porkie pies
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and get high
Oh no, not I
I will swan dive
Did you think I'd lay down and get high
Oh no, not I
I will swan dive
Oh as long as I know how to shove
I know I will stay alive
I've got a bread knife to receive
I've got boxing gloves to outlive
and I'll swan dive
I will swan dive (x2)I've got a bread knife to receive
I've got boxing gloves to outlive
and I'll swan dive
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