The Eclipse of You and Uranus by Kim Kardashian's Assteroid and Black Hole

Forgive the pompous title, but unless you have been living under a rock/The Rock these last few days, you cannot have escaped the total eclipse of all things sane and decent by this asstronomically monstruous cover (victorian censorship courtesy of yours truly).

 

Kim Kardashian's arse, aka Gaseous Gluteus,  is now entitled by its sheer presence to front page space in national newspapers, occulting matters such as the commercialisation of our medical data, the possibility for corporations to sue governments for putting people over profit (TTIP) and, you know, other little anal things like that.

I don't even know what is the worst amongst this dark matter : the crude photography of a mother reduced to meat, obscenely exiting her sausage casing,oozing cheap lubricant and desperation; or the more lurid claim of 'Breaking the Internet', once again giving this methane nebula a power that she never had.

Let's be clear here : the radiation belt of the sub-stellar entity known as Kim Kardashian only reaches as far as the entities living in the black hole known as the 'Reality TV Crater', whose inhabitants's sole preoccupation lies in living vicariously through someone else's orifice.

The only hole and celebrity I care about is Courtney Love's ...'Celebrity Skin' was my jam back in the 90's.

I have always thought that the Daily Mail was trash, but it has now reached toilet paper status. And just like toilet paper, it must be used front to back to avoid unecessary rashes.