Please sort your men out. I came to this island with dreams of gentlemen curtseying to my mental brunette splendour and instead, THIS is what greets my royal sweeping finger on Tinder, Cupid & Eros's latest capitalist venture:
1- Park and Ride Dude : because nothing says more attractive than a butt crack with a cracking spelling mistake.
2. Bros B4 Chinos Dude : because nothing says more endearing than two toddlers waiting for their nappy change.
3.Deluded Dude : Aww. It is first time playing with a big toy. Bless his discovery channel smile.
4. I Believe I Can Catch a Fly Dude : Not sure if having a stroke or stroking something? Either way, looking like Forrest Gump post coitus is not a charming look. No.No.
5. High Viz & No Peniz Dude : because....WTF?!
In case you didn't notice, I actually blurred those dudes' faces. Which means that these homo sapiens are HAPPILY showing their faces to their entire Tinder penis radius. Yeaaaaaaaah.
And do you know what the worse is? My alternative plan of finding a galactic love is now thwarthed. No sexy MoonWalkers for me, instead I have to make do with EarthWankers.
Umph.
That's quite a collection of male pulchritude you've assembled there. I can well understand your disappointment.
ReplyDeleteA collection I wish to get rid off...thinking about Ebaying the lot as a Tinder Crimbo Deal?
ReplyDeleteWow. Just...wow. That's a strange assortment of humanity you've acquired there.
ReplyDeleteIndeed, I do believe that the end (of my romantic life) is near.
ReplyDelete